Kundalini Yoga with Bijay J Anand
A Spiritual Perspective on Extra-Marital AffairsBijay J Anand,
Why do men and women have extra-marital affairs?
To answer that question, I have to first define the kind of flings and extra-marital affairs that people are capable of indulging in.
The Philanderer: Not quite able to have any control over their first three chakras, these souls just crave for creature comforts from whichever source they can get it from.
There is usually no discrimination of any kind when these minds are taken over by their sexual urges. As long as there is flesh involved, their carnal pleasures take precedence over discernment or logic.
Must have, must do and make hay while the sun shines are mantras typically associated with ‘The Philanderers’.
The Human soul: A human soul is not designed to belong or being owned by another human being. As much as one may be loyal or devoted to his or her spouse, there are the occasional blips that occur when they come across another soul with a karmic connection where there is no escaping an encounter.
This situation is very different from that of a philanderer who will jump into bed with anyone willing to.
And then there are also those relationships that may be from a past life that come back to reignite or to finish a karmic lesson that was left unfinished earlier.
The Rejected: There are some relationships and marriages where sex has flown out of the window. One out of the two souls in that relationship crave for an active sex-life and would do anything to ignite the passion in their partners who continue to be indifferent or cold to their advances. In many cases sex in these relationships when it occurs is a mere formality and getting over a chore, which must be done to keep the tempers of the sexually active partner from fraying.
Partners who find their mates in uncompromising relationships outside of their marriage would do well to first categorize their mates in one of the three situations mentioned above.
Out of all the divorce cases that I have been witness to in my life as a teacher and a friend, I only agree with separation in cases where the spouse who has been cheating upon his partner is a philanderer. Usually, such souls have no respect for any other human being and none whatsoever for even their own selves. They are reckless, selfish and lost souls who only know to live their lives out of their animal instincts and wish not to ascend the spiritual ladder to bliss and divinity. Their debauchery is habitual and compulsive and no amount of dedication, love and devotion can help them to mend their ways.
When blips in the relationships occur out of human tendencies of loving and compassion to a specific person kindled by a strong soul connection, the spouse would do well to analyze realistically whether it is going to affect their relationship in any way in the long run. If their ‘cheating’ spouses continue to love them with the same affection, devotion and worship that they have done before, then such transgressions should be overlooked. Painful as it may be, separation, divorce and parting is certainly not the answer. Understanding and forgiveness is.
When a spouse has found comfort in the arms of another because of neglect and nonchalance then the one who has found love and affection would do well to understand the newfound happiness and joy in his or her life and if it is possible to detach from the chains of the neglected relationship then he or she must do so to reclaim the love, joy and celebration of his life.
Unfortunately, there are souls who continue to trudge on in dead relationships on account of financial entanglements, guilt at having finally found happiness or in most cases, concern for their children’s well-being. Life is too short to waste on living a loveless existence or worse still, one of lies and deceit. Moving on is the best option if you have one.
I have always said that nobody can break or wreck a home that is not broken or wrecked already. If the fort is not solid and strong then even a pebble is enough to get it to crumble to the ground.
To those reading this who may have any doubts regarding the authenticity of their marriages or relationships would do well to categorize themselves and their spouses in either of the three situations mentioned above and then decide whether to damn, forgive or part ways with your respective spouses.